Identifying the exact problem

To identify what the problem exactly is, sit down with pen, paper and a cup of tea for half an hour or so and use this list of questions to help uncover not only the exact details, but also your skills, resources and the positives in your life. Having "mapped" the problem, you may just discover that it is much less overwhelming than you feared.

What significant people are present or absent when the problem occurs?
What does my husband/friend/colleague/family think about the problem and/or symptoms?
Can I identify a pattern?

Where does the problem mostly occur?
Where does it not occur?
Can I identify a pattern?

What are the exact steps leading up to the problem arising?
How does it start?
What exactly was/is my train of thought?
What am I doing/feeling/seeing?
Can I identify a pattern?

When does the problem occur?
When is it at its worst?
When does it not occur?
Can I identify a pattern?

What part of the problem is for me to sort out and no-one else?
Can I separate myself by giving it a colour/name? I am OK - it is: the anxiety/depression/lack of confidence, etc.
What part of the problem do I have (some) control over?
Do I need help with it?

What parts of my role as a mother / father / friend / aunt / uncle / colleague / employer / employee / companion are working well enough?
What exactly am I doing that makes it work well?
What skills/resources am I using in my spare time and my work?
What are my achievements? (large, "one off's", every day "small" ones: it may just be getting out of bed when you are depressed, or passing getting your driving license or PhD)
What would I consider to be "life's little pleasures"? (I.e. a hot bath, buds opening in spring, seeing a wonderful piece of art, time to read the newspaper, reading an inspiring book, etc.)

What would I be doing/concentrating on if I did not have the problem?
How exactly would I be different?
What would my friends/family/colleagues notice about me?

What would happen if I just ignored the problem?
Are there any possible benefits to the situation?
Can I make any changes right now, without necessarily having to solve the problem first?
How would I really like it to end?
What small steps can I take towards a solution?
Who has solved a similar problem? How did they do it?
Who can help and/or advice me whilst staying objective?
Who can support/encourage me whilst staying objective?
What can I do today that will make a difference tomorrow?
What will I settle for if all else fails?

Elly Prior, HG Dip P, Cert CC Relate, MHGI, MBACP (Accred)

Human Givens Therapist

Gillingham, Kent, UK Tel.: (+44) 01634 856176 Email