Is yoursexualrelationship all but non-existent or problematic? By the time my clients come for counselling the lack of, or difficulty with, sex may be the result of the general malaise in the relationship.
If sex is the cause of your relationship difficulties I would advice you to seek appropriate professional help. Start with your family doctor and if all is well physically consider seeing a psychosexual therapist.
Ifyou and/or your partner/spouse are feeling resentful, angry, hurt - it is unlikely that you will be having a loving, satisfying sexual relationship. The problems need to be addressed. It does not help to encourage your partner to make love more often. Neither is it useful to avoid the subject.
A 'physical' relationship is not only 'full' sex, but also touching, stroking, kissing, cuddling, massaging, without the expectation of sex. What is your partner's belief? What is yours? Do you understand how, or at least accept that you both may see things differently?
Pain Tightening of the vagina Problem reaching orgasm Not interested in sex
Erectile problems Difficulties with ejaculation Not interested in sex
If it's supposed to be 'natural', have we failed?
Manypeople see it as a failure having to consult someone for their relationship problems, let alone having to ask for help with sexual problems. If that is the case for you too, it may help to do some reading, so that you become more comfortable with the language of sex, if not already. A counsellor or psychosexual therapist however will put you at ease right from the start. He/she will help you to express yourself in whatever words feel right for you.
How well do you know yourself and your partner?
Low libido There are numerous causes for a low sex drive, here are some of the most common: - relationship problems - depression/anxiety - illicit drugs - blood pressure medication - certain antidepressants - trauma (see above) - pain - illness - fear of pregnancy - other fears - fatigue
Here are some ideas to help you talk about sex--to help you get to know yourself and you partner better:
How did you learn about sex? What were your parents' attitudes to sex? Have you played any games that had a sexual element with your siblings/friends, as a child? What was your first sexual experience like? Where you in love? Was it just for sex? Where you, as a teenager able to confide in anyone about sex? What is your attitude towards your own body, hygiene, health, menstruation, pregnancy, contraception, fantasies, etc.?
Lollo88
What next?
Shy and awkward? Expand your knowledge and understanding. Visitnetdoctor - sex and relationships Relationship fine, but sex a problem? Contacta psychosexual therapist. Bored? To spice things up you might like to try: 500 Lovemaking tips and Sex Secrets. Relationshipin trouble? Contact me--counselling, coaching or hypnotherapy can really help you to move forward. Imagine the relief you'll feel when you get that problem sorted!
Trauma Have you , or has someone you know been traumatised in such a way that they now have problems with sex? Healing is possible! Contact me if you feel you finally want to leave it all behind.
