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How to find a counsellor
Finding a marriage counsellor

Last updated: 11 February 2010

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See also:

Human Givens Therapy

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Human Givens links

Kent professionals

Separation and divorce

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How do I find a good counsellor--registered and accredited?

Contact specialist organisations or HG therapists.
Look in your local directories under "counselling and advice".
Ask your family doctor about NHS counselling.
Ask your employer if there is an Employee Assistance Scheme.
Ask people who you know have been for counselling.
Contact the three professional counselling organisations below.

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Elly Prior  HG Dip P, Cert CC Relate MGHI MBACP (Accred.)   Further information
for the human givens approach for personal and relationship problems   

MindFields College (Human Givens)
British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP)
Counselling Directory

What should I be looking for? What questions should I ask?

Are you registered or accredited? If so, by which organisation?
Have you completed your training as a (couple) counsellor/therapist?
When and how did you gain your qualifications?
How long have you been practicing as a (couple) counsellor?
How flexible are you with appointments?
How long do the sessions last and do you start and finish on time?
What will be the frequency of the sessions?
How long is it likely to take?
How much does it costs?
Will the major focus be on my past or on resolving present difficulties?
Are you able to treat other conditions? (if appropriate)
Do you adhere to a recognised code of conduct?
What theory do you use?  Can you explain that? (see margin)

How do I know a particular counsellor is 'right' for me?

A counsellor who uses the Human Givens approach can deal with traumatic memories often in very few sessions, without you having to go over the events in any detail.

Trust that you know who is right for you, bearing in mind your general tendency to seek out helpful or unhelpful people around you - the information on this page will also guide you.  When you speak to the counsellor on the telephone, what is your first impression?  Is she/he taking the time to talk to you, happy to answer your questions?

Why do I need an 'assessment'?

Your first session should ideally be used to begin to deal with the problems, rather than just being an assessment. You do not have to commit yourself at this stage - it is fine to say you would like to think about it before committing yourself. You are also 'assessing' the counsellor!

It is entirely appropriate that the counsellor assesses whether or not he/she has the skills/knowledge to help you with your particular problem.

If you are able to distinguish between different theories in counselling / psychotherapy (a minefield!), then do ask the person you contact how exactly he/she works.

Research has shown though that most experienced counsellors use skills/knowledge from different approaches.  It seems that they naturally work more in line with the human givens.

It is also very useful if your counsellor has some idea on how the brain works!

What do I need to know after the first session?

whether you feel you can trust the counsellor
whether you feel you can get on/feel comfortable with her/him
if
the counsellor is trained and/or experienced with your problem
notice of, and payment for, cancelled sessions
flexibility in timing and frequency of sessions
if the counsellor generally does short-term or long-term work
how many sessions you can have if they are funded
frequency and length of further sessions.
if attending as a couple, can you have some separate sessions
if you can come without your partner unannounced
if the counsellor starts work at the very first session

Questions about ending counselling?

I have noticed that people submit questions to search engines about ending counselling.  If you are not sure how to bring an end to your counselling sessions or contract, think through the questions below.

Ending counselling
If you would like to discuss it with someone independent in confidence, contact the organisation your counsellor belongs to, such as the BACP.

Are you clear about my reasons for wanting to end?
Have you talked to your counsellor about ending? 
How difficult is it to bring the matter of ending up and why?
What does that say about your relationship with the counsellor?
How comfortable do you feel with the counsellor?
Is the counselling actually helping you?
Is it making a noticeable difference?
Did you decide on a specific number of session to start with?
Have you talked about it, but the counsellor is resisting an ending?

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