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What can you expect in marriage or couples counselling?

In couple counselling or relationship counselling the counsellor will give you both equal time and attention.  He/she will counsel you without judgement.
To help you decide what the future might hold for you each and/or as a couple, you are both encouraged and supported to:

explain your hopes, dreams, worries and concerns
understand each other better
manage differences of opinion
learn about relationship communication
explore whether there is still hope or whether to end the relationship talk more and differently to improve marital harmony
learn about problem solving stages and techniques
find out about your 'wants' and your needs
learn what to do when everything is an argument
explore your 'role' in the successes of your relationship/marriage
move on from the disappointments, hurts and anger
move on if it is your decision to end the relationship/marriage
identify your own individual resources and how best to use them
identify your resources as a couple
explore the consequences of ending your relationship
heal and move on when you are getting over an affair
learn about differences in male and female brains
get to know yourself better

wmeremans

What not to expect from relationship counselling

What you will NOT get in relationship counselling is:

advice on ending your relationship/marriage or not
advice on whether or not you should have a trial separation
an opinion on your partner/wife/husband in terms of 'good' or 'bad'
destructive criticism about your actions/opinions
hope that your counsellor can change your partner

Your husband/wife/partner won't come for counselling?

Individual counselling can still help you to:

consider the effects of changes in you on the people around you
explore the role you might play in your relationship problems
explore your options in terms of your future
consider how you can improve your communication skills
identify and deal with any personal, as well as marital problems
get support if you or your partner end your relationship/marriage

Obvious solutions to obvious problems?

Often couples present with a number of difficulties.  One or both partner may also have personal difficulties.  Sorting problems in one area of your life will release emotional and physical energy to invest in other areas of your life and help you to feel a great deal better.  Whatever is going on for you personally has an impact on your relationship. Taking responsibility for your own challenges can have a tremendously positive impact! 

No other way but to end the relationship/marriage?

Sadly you may see no other way forward but to end your relationship.  Perhaps you have tried all to try and save your relationship/marriage.   
I anticipate that you might be really struggling for a while: it is completely normal to suffer grief, feel out of control and angry.  Don't let anybody tell you when you should be over that!  Telephone counselling can really help you feeling less alone with it all.

You may also be interested in:

Recovering from a break up       How to end a relationship
Choosing a counsellor                   Problem solving stages and techniques

© Elly Prior, 2001 - 2010