Does stress cause relationship problems or vice versa?
Problems in your relationship can cause an enormous amount of stress, either through a drip-drip effect or a crisis, such as an affair. Avoiding issues that are causing stress for either or both of you may seem a solution, but would ultimately result in fuelling relationship problems. Stress from sources outside of the relationship will affect the way that you feel, think and behave and may cause relationship problems in itself.
Translate this page
Should my partner be able/willing to support me?
If your partner is already providing you with the support you need, do remember to tell her/him how much you appreciate that. However, be sure to take responsibility for your own recovery. Suffering from stress long-term may come at a cost, so do keep the channels of communication open. If your partner does not appear to be able to support, it may be that their own well-being is not good - perhaps through adverse family circumstances, stress at work. Maybe there were pre-existing problems and/or your relationship was already in trouble.
Introvert or extravert When stressed, an introvert (someone who is more at ease with their own thoughts and feelings) is more likely to be soothed by peace and quiet, and solitary activities.
An extrovert (someone who likes going out, getting involved and being with other people) is more likely to cope by engaging in lively activities.
We are all on a continuum between introvert and extrovert and ideally working towards finding a balance.
Supporting someone? Be aware that what might comfort you, might increase someone else's stress levels! Support them in what they find helpful at least in the early stages, as long as they are not putting themselves or anyone else at risk.
How do I make a start getting better?
It helps if you can take responsibility for how you are feeling - if you continue to do what you have always done, things are unlikely to change for the better long-term. If you blame other people or 'the situation' than you might get trapped into feeling helpless - you are wasting precious energy on things you have no control over. From the moment you accept personal responsibility you are back in the driving seat, whatever the circumstances, as you ultimately only have control over yourself.
What else can I do to help myself?
If you are stressed:
accept thatyour partner cannot read your mind! tell him/her what the problem is (visit other relationship pages). visit the page on stress and anxiety to learn more educate yourself - understanding what you are dealing with helps engage in meaningful activities keeping your attention on the task pay 100 % attention to your worries for time-limited periods write down your thoughts in 'never to be sent letters', mind maps, flow charts, etc. during that time, this will help you to be more objective
How can I help my partner to cope with stress?
Encourage him/her to do the above Accept that your partner is going to react and solve problems differently than you would, even if you don't like or understand it! Do state clearly if something is really unacceptable to you Act like a sounding board and refrain from making judgements Only give advice when asked for Accept that your partner's time scale may be different from yours
How can we turn things around?
Talk about what you both have, and have achieved in all areas of your life. Write it all down and do not judge: this is your starting block (including 'ordinary' every day achievements). Decide what you are going to do to build on that Break your goals down into small steps Ask for help if necessary.
Richermcm
What can be done to prevent stress?
Psychological health depends to a large extend on whether we can have our most basic needs met in balance, by appropriately using our innate resources. Adopting a pro-active approach to our psychological well-being will help to lower stress levels.
What can be done to prevent stress?
Stress can lead to symptoms of anxiety, both are often much reduced after just a few sessions with a qualified human givens therapist. Phobias and traumas can be treated in just a couple of sessions using a safe and non-intrusive technique. See also: Hypnotherapy
Elly Prior, HG Dip P, Cert CC Relate, MHGI, MBACP (Accred) the human givens approach for personal and relationship problems Gillingham, Kent, UK Tel.: (+44) 01634 856176
